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Screenwriting Tips from a Screenplay Contest Judge

   
< P > A f t e r c r a c k i n g h u n d r e d s o f s c r e e n p l a y s s e n t i n t o t h e B l u e C a t S c r e e n p l a y C o m p e t i t i o n , t h e s a m e p r o b l e m s i n t h e e x e c u t i o n o f t h e s t o r y a n d s c r i p t c o n t i n u e t o e m e r g e . H e r e i s a g e n e r a l o v e r v i e w o f t h e s e p e r s i s t e n t i s s u e s . < / P > < P > < B > D o y o u r e a l i z e w h a t y o u ' r e s a y i n g ? ? < / B > < / P > < P > I n t h e t h e a t r e , t h e y r e a d p l a y s a l o u d o v e r a n d o v e r i n t h e p r o c e s s o f s c r i p t d e v e l o p m e n t , a n d o n e o f t h e r e a s o n s t h e y d o t h i s i s t o h e a r t h e d i a l o g u e . W h e n I h e a r d i a l o g u e i n m y h e a d , i t m i g h t s o u n d v e r y g o o d , b u t t h e n w h e n I h e a r a p e r s o n a c t u a l l y s p e a k i t , I o f t e n h a v e a n i m p u l s e t o j u m p i n f r o n t o f a b u s . A n d o v e r a n d o v e r a n d o v e r a n d o v e r , w h e n I r e a d s c r e e n p l a y e n t r i e s t o B l u e C a t , I a m i m m e d i a t e l y d i s m a y e d w h e n t h e c h a r a c t e r s s t a r t s p e a k i n g . E x c e l l e n t e v e r y t h i n g e l s e , a w f u l d i a l o g u e . A n d I o f t e n w o n d e r i f t h e w r i t e r h a s a c t u a l l y h e a r d t h e l i n e s t h e y h a v e w r i t t e n f o r t h e i r c h a r a c t e r s o u t l o u d . E i t h e r r e a d t h e w h o l e t h i n g a l o u d t o y o u r s e l f , o r e v e n b e t t e r , g e t a g r o u p o f y o u r f r i e n d s t o r e a d i t . Y o u d o n o t n e e d p r o f e s s i o n a l a c t o r s t o e v a l u a t e d i a l o g u e . J u s t p e o p l e e x c i t e d t o h e l p . V i d e o t a p e i t . I h a v e v i d e o t a p e d r e a d i n g s , a n d t h e n s a t d o w n a n d w o r k e d o u t a n e n t i r e r e w r i t e o f f t h e t a p e , a d d r e s s i n g e v e r y s i n g l e l i n e t h a t b o t h e r e d m e . W h i c h l e a d s m e t o a n o t h e r t h i n g . < / P > < P > < B > H a . < / B > < / P > < P > I t ' s h a r d t o p a s s a s c r e e n p l a y o n t o i n d u s t r y c o n t a c t s i f a n u n f u n n y j o k e i s s i t t i n g i n t h e m i d d l e o f p a g e t w o . I t s h i g h l y d i f f i c u l t i f t h e r e s t w e l v e b y p a g e f i v e . Y o u m i g h t h a v e a p a y o f f i n y o u r t h i r d a c t t h a t w o u l d b r e a k m y h e a r t , b u t i f y o u r j o k e s a r e p o o r , t h e h e a r t o f y o u r a u d i e n c e w i l l b e s h o t , p r o b a b l y r e s e n t f u l , a n d y o u r w o r k w i l l b e r e c y c l e d . P l e a s e t r y y o u r h u m o r o u t . I f y o u r b e a t s a r e n t f u n n y t o s o m e p e o p l e , r e w r i t e . T r u s t a t r u l y h i l a r i o u s b i t i s c o m i n g . T h i n k o f t h e p a t i e n c e y o u n e e d t o m u s t e r t h r o u g h t h i s w r i t i n g p r o c e s s a s c o u r a g e , b e c a u s e i t i s . < / P > < P > I f y o u f i n d y o u a r e n o t f u n n y , w r i t e a s c r i p t t h a t i s n o t f u n n y . M a n y , m a n y g r e a t s c r i p t s a r e n o t f u n n y , a s w e a l l k n o w . < / P > < P > < B > M i s p e l l i n g s . < / B > < / P > < P > D o y o u t h i n k t h e d e v e l o p m e n t p e o p l e i n L o s A n g e l e s , b a s i c a l l y t h e s m a r t e s t p e o p l e i n t h e f i l m i n d u s t r y , w i l l n o t b e a n n o y e d a n d c o n t i n u e t o r e a d y o u r s c r i p t w h e n y o u h a v e m i s s p e l l e d t h r e e w o r d s i n t h e f i r s t f i v e p a g e s ? P e r h a p s . H o w d o y o u f e e l w h e n y o u ' r e r e a d i n g s o m e t h i n g a n d y o u f i n d m i s s p e l l e d w o r d s ? H o w d o e s y o u r a t t i t u d e s h i f t t o w a r d s t h e a u t h o r ? E x a c t l y . I f y o u d o n ' t t h i n k m a n y s c r i p t s h a v e t h i s p r o b l e m , s t a r t a s c r e e n w r i t n g c o m p t i t i o n . < / P > < P > < B > O K A Y , W E G O T I T ! < / B > < / P > < P > T r y t o l i m i t y o u r s c e n e d e s c r i p t i o n . W h e n a p e r s o n o p e n s y o u r s c r i p t , h o w m a n y I N C H E S o f a c t i o n s l u g a r e t h e y l o o k i n g a t o n p a g e o n e ? I s t h e r e a n y w a y y o u c a n c o n v e y w h a t y o u w a n t u s t o S E E w i t h l e s s w o r d s ? I a l w a y s g o b a c k a n d C U T C U T C U T t o p r e v e n t m y s c r e e n p l a y f r o m f a t i g u i n g m y r e a d e r w i t h e x c e s s w o r d s a s t h e y t r y t o l i s t e n f o r m y s t o r y . D o w e n e e d t o k n o w w h a t n e c k l a c e s o m e o n e i s w e a r i n g ? W e a l l u n d e r s t a n d m a k i n g m o t i o n p i c t u r e s i s c o l l a b o r a t i v e . I s t r i v e t o l e t t h e a r t d e p a r t m e n t a n d t h e c o s t u m e r a n d t h e p r o p m a s t e r a n d s o o n D O T H E I R J O B b y n o t m a k i n g t h e i r d e c i s i o n s i n t h e s c r e e n p l a y , b e c a u s e I h a v e l i t t l e p a s s i o n f o r i t a n d d o n t d o i t w e l l . T h e y w i l l m a k e t h e i r o w n c h o i c e s , a n d m o s t l i k e l y b e t t e r o n e s , s o w h y b o t h e r ? A l w a y s u s e f e w e r w o r d s t o s a y t h e s a m e t h i n g . < / P > < P > < B > I t ' s n o t s h o w a n d t e l l , i t ' s s h o w n o t t e l l . < / B > < / P > < P > I c o n s t a n t l y f i n d m y s e l f b e i n g t o l d s o m e t h i n g b y t h e s c r e e n p l a y t h e v i e w e r o f t h e f i l m w i l l n o t b e a w a r e o f . S c r e e n p l a y s a r e n o t l i t e r a t u r e . T h e y a r e w o r d s a s s e m b l e d t o d e s c r i b e w h a t m o t i o n p i c t u r e s w i l l p l a y o u t o n t h e s c r e e n . T e l l i n g u s a c h a r a c t e r i s a j e a l o u s p e r s o n i s p a s s i v e a n d d u l l . S h o w i n g a c h a r a c t e r i n a n a c t o f j e a l o u s y i s m o r e e f f e c t i v e a n d e s s e n t i a l l y c i n e m a t i c . L e t t h e w o r d s a n d a c t i o n s o f y o u r c h a r a c t e r s c a r r y y o u r s t o r y . T h i s i s n o t e a s y . Y o u w a n t t h e a c t o r o r d i r e c t o r t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t y o u w a n t a n d w h a t y o u m e a n . A l l o w t h e d e s c r i p t i o n o f p h y s i c a l a c t i o n s a n d t h e r e c o r d i n g o f s p o k e n w o r d s r e v e a l t h e n a r r a t i v e t o t h e f i l m m a k e r s . T h e s c r i p t w i l l r e a d f a s t e r a n d o f f e r s t h e r e a d e r a r i c h e r o p p o r t u n i t y t o i m a g i n e a n d d i s c o v e r . < / P > < P > < B > T h e J o y o f M a k i n g T h i n g s U p . < / B > < / P > < P > I r e a l l y c h e r i s h t h e i d e a , t h a t a s a w r i t e r , I c a n m a k e t h i n g s u p . I f I w a n t t h e g u y t o s a y s o m e t h i n g , a l l I h a v e t o d o i s t y p e i t . B u t I h a v e t o f i g h t a g a i n s t c r e a t i n g c h a r a c t e r s a n d i n t e r a c t i o n s a m o n g s t c h a r a c t e r s d e r i v e d f r o m m o v i e s I h a v e w a t c h e d a n d t e l e v i s i o n I h a v e s e e n . I o f t e n f i n d m y s e l f w r i t i n g a s c e n e o n l y t o r e a l i z e I ' m n o t d r a w i n g f r o m m y i m a g i n a t i o n o r m y o w n l i f e e x p e r i e n c e o r m y o b s e r v a t i o n s o f p e o p l e , I ' m d r a w i n g f r o m t h e m i l l i o n s o f h o u r s o f o b s e r v i n g a c t o r s p l a y h u m a n b e i n g s o n t e l e v i s i o n a n d i n m o v i e t h e a t e r s . A n d b e c a u s e I m w r i t i n g a M O V I E , i t i s e v e n m o r e d i f f i c u l t , b e c a u s e I m f i g h t i n g a g a i n s t a s u b c o n s c i o u s o r u n c o n s c i o u s o b s e r v a t i o n t h a t t h i s i s " h o w p e o p l e a c t i n m o v i e s . " S t o p y o u r s e l f a n d a s k , w o u l d t h i s h a p p e n o n p l a n e t E a r t h ? D o I k n o w h o w p e o p l e f r o m M i a m i r e a l l y s p e a k ? W h a t w o u l d a p e r s o n a c t u a l l y s a y i f t h e y h a d a g u n i n t h e i r f a c e ? C a n y o u p o s s i b l y i m a g i n e w h a t c o u l d h a p p e n ? T h i s i s y o u r o p p o r t u n i t y t o b e t r u l y i m a g i n a t i v e . A n s w e r y o u r o w n e x p e c t a t i o n s o f o r i g i n a l w o r k . A m a t u r e w r i t e r d e v e l o p s a s t r o n g c a p a c i t y t o r e c o g n i z e a n d r e j e c t t h e f a l s e . < / P > < P > < B > O u c h . < / B > < / P > < P > F o r c e d e x p o s i t i o n . T h i s i s w h e n a b r o t h e r t e l l s a s i s t e r o n p a g e t w o t h a t h e w i l l b e a t t e n d i n g a s c h o o l w h i c h d a d w o u l d n ' t p a y f o r b e c a u s e h e b o u g h t a f a r m t h a t t h e w h o l e f a m i l y w i l l b e m o v i n g t o t o m o r r o w b e c a u s e h e f o u n d t h a t t h e c i t y w a s a r e a l l y b a d p l a c e t o l i v e i n a f t e r m o m w a s r e a l l y s c a r e d b e c a u s e o f t h a t m u g g i n g t h i n g t h a t h a p p e n e d a f t e r t h e y c a m e b a c k f r o m t h e s i s t e r ' s g r a d u a t i o n f r o m h i g h s c h o o l . W h e n c h a r a c t e r s e n g a g e i n a n u n b e l i e v a b l e c o n v e r s a t i o n a b o u t m a t t e r s i n w h i c h t h e y w o u l d b e f a m i l i a r w i t h , o r w h e n t h e y p r o c l a i m s o m e t h i n g c o m p l e t e l y o u t o f n o w h e r e s i m p l y t o i n f o r m t h e a u d i e n c e o f k e y f a c t s c r u c i a l t o t h e i r u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e m o v i e , y o u h a v e a p r o b l e m . T h i s a w k w a r d e x p o s i t i o n w i l l n o t b e s e e n a s g e n u i n e h u m a n b e h a v i o r a n d w i l l d e t a c h y o u r a u d i e n c e f r o m t h e e m o t i o n a l c u r r e n t o f y o u r s t o r y . E x p o s i t i o n i s n e c e s s a r y a n d d i f f i c u l t t o e x e c u t e . B e c a r e f u l h o w y o u o f f e r i n f o r m a t i o n c r u c i a l t o y o u r s t o r y a t t h e s t a r t o f y o u r s c r e e n p l a y . T h i s i s a c o m m o n p r o b l e m i n e a r l y d r a f t s . E x p o s i t i o n n e e d s t o b e s e a m l e s s a n d g r a c e f u l . < / P > < P > < B > F o r m a t . < / B > < / P > < P > Y o u k n o w w h a t ? G o g e t a s c r i p t a n d c o p y w h a t y o u t h i n k i t l o o k s l i k e a n d y o u ' l l b e f i n e . T r u s t m e . S p e c s c r i p t s a r e s i t t i n g o n d e s k s a l l o v e r H o l l y w o o d a n d t h e i r f o r m a t i s n o t c o n s i s t e n t a t a l l . G e t t i n g c r a z y a b o u t f o r m a t s e l l s s c r e e n w r i t i n g s o f t w a r e . I u s e t w o t a b s e t t i n g s a n d c o p i e d s t u f f f r o m a b o o k a n d n o t o n e p e r s o n i n t h e f i l m i n d u s t r y h a s e v e r s a i d a t h i n g t o m e i n t e n y e a r s . B u t i f y o u r s c r i p t l o o k s l i k e a b o o k , o r a p o e m , o r a m a g a z i n e a r t i c l e , y o u r s c r e e n p l a y f o r m a t i s w r o n g . J u s t m a k e i t l o o k a l i t t l e l i k e a m o v i e s c r i p t , a n d i f i t k i c k s a s s , g u e s s w h a t . < / P > < P > S o d o y o u . < / P >
Author: Gordy Hoffman
 
Author Bio:
Gordy Hoffman is an expert in this field. Gordy has written several articles in the past on this topic.
 
 
 

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